Y.

Yoga Teacher Training: Halfway There!

Yay!  I am so happy to finally get the chance to sit and write! It’s been too long, Internet, too long.

So, here’s the scoop: I have been taking yoga teacher training classes Saturday’s and Sunday’s for the past 5 weeks and it has been amazing. I am not finished just yet, but the incredible self-observing journey this has taken me on is one that I am grateful for. I, too, am eager about what this all means at the end of it!  I cannot yet generalize my whole experience since I am not a time traveler and have, well, not experienced it all, but I want to share with you my journey thus far.

I don’t know whether to say that my life at the current moment is crazy good or crazy bad; therefore, I will just label it ‘crazy’! Having a full-time corporate job, finding a new apartment, packing, starting to move, going to yoga on the weekends for 14 hours and then yoga during the week for at least 6 hours (total of at least 20 hours a week, if you’re keeping track!), attending family events, attending friend events, being a wife, and finding time to just breathe (*breathes*) has been a little… crazy! You’d think that yoga was relaxing (it is!), but this teacher training is definitely isn’t; it’s quite intensive and like a part-time job! So I guess I’ve been, for the past month, been working 1 full-time and 1 half-time job- mamma mia!  But. all. worth. it.

My Experience:
Rather than me go on about how each week was and go off on a tangent, I want to share with you my entries in my journal that I have been keeping (don’t worry, they are short and to the point!). But just see how crazy of a roller coaster ride this is (I was surprised!): Read more

N.

New Journey: Getting My Yoga Certification!

Yes, you read that title right: yoga certification.  Friends, I’m doing yoga teacher training!  Me!

Now, I haven’t been practicing yoga for that long -just short of one year to be exact- but the thought of getting my yoga certification was something that crossed my mind every now and then.  I always dismissed it, though, because I didn’t think I could make that time & energy commitment.  Not only that, but I didn’t really believe myself to be disciplined enough.

Interestingly, though, I have had quite a few friends, family members, and even strangers come up to me and tell me that I should become certified and teach.  Their faith in me made me really take another look inside myself and try to see what it was that they saw: passion and bravery.  A couple of months ago I laughed the idea off, but today, I’ve actually decided to embrace it!

Yoga has been a big part of my anxiety recovery.  Okay, okay, let me count the ways 🙂 Read more

W.

When Someone Else Has a Panic Attack

I was riding the train home the other day when I noticed a pretty, young girl get on board and sit diagonally from me.  She was surrounded by people and I was looking at her because I loved her haircut.  She seemed nervous, but I went on to look at my phone and listen to my music.  It was about three minutes later that this pretty girl started to shake and gasp loudly.  Yes, she was having a panic attack.

Being on the other side:
I don’t think I’ve ever been on the other side of it, seeing someone else have a panic attack, because they always just used to happen to me and me alone.  I have to say, it was an uncomfortable situation.  Forget the fact that I had to be strong for this girl, but it caused such worry to everyone around to see her like this.  And she was a total stranger.  Imagine if it was someone you knew. And that’s when I realized what perhaps my family and close friends have been feeling towards me or others they have in their lives- extreme worry.

Upon asking the girl what was wrong she confirmed that she was having a panic attack.  The others around her were telling her to calm down and relax.  But I, I stood quiet for just a little bit;  I had to think, even for just a hot second and reflect on what would it be that I want to hear.

How to help/cope:
Truth is, when you’re in that mindset of the world just being one big scary place, it’s very difficult to ‘shoo’ it away.  You actually have to accept what’s going on before it can go away.  Otherwise, you are just running away. Read more

E.

Enjoying the Ease, Painting a Memory at Port Jefferson, Long Island

Ah, ease.

I’ve been feeling a bit more appreciative and less anxious these past couple of days – and it feels amazing.  A lot of hard work has been (and is still) put in and the benefits have just been that much more rewarding.

Part of me staying at ease has been me trying to be around nature as much as I can (walking in parks, sitting outside in our little garden, etc.); it has a mysterious way of snapping me out of societal ‘pressures’ and bringing me back to the roots of ‘life’, making me really appreciate the air we breathe and the natural, non-obtrusive beauty this world beholds.  Living and working in NYC (or any other big city at that) makes ‘being one with nature’ a little more challenging.  Sadly, sometimes the next best thing to an escape that I can get to around here is standing next to a tree on the busy streets- and that’s if I can find one!  It becomes even more of a challenge considering we only get summer weather that all but a few weeks out here!

So in honor of inching a little closer to ‘nature’ and appreciating it with a much calmer mind, my husband and I set off for the day to Port Jefferson, Long Island.  It was actually half a day, but I was determined to use all of my senses and really live in the moment.

Now, I think the last time I was at Port Jefferson was about two or three years ago.  I can’t really even recall what I did out there because I took it for granted.

But that wasn’t going to happen this time.  I made sure to make my visit a memorable one and not let it be another blur, especially since I feel like I went out there with a ‘new pair of eyes’ and a, truly, ‘open mind’. Read more

A.

Appreciating Stillness, Becoming Less Anxious

It really is enlightening.Last week I woke up and grabbed breakfast with my husband from our local spot. Unlike any time before, I suggested that we take it to-go and told him that we should just sit in the garden in front of our apartment complex for a bit.  And it was there, as I started to eat my breakfast sandwich and sit in minutes of comfortable, unspoken words, that I turned to him and started to cry.I was happy.

As I watched the water fountains splash water into the air, I couldn’t help but be happy. I turned to my husband and told him:

“It’s weird; I deeply appreciate the life around me. I am crying because I can feel the wind on my face, I can hear the splashes of water crash back down into the fountain and I notice the leaves dancing with the direction of the wind on the trees.  I think the reason why I appreciate this so much is because I can finally appreciate stillness.  I am just so happy; this is a taste of what I have been working so hard for and it’s slowly arriving.  I love it, I feel so blessed.”

In a world where there are a lot of fast-paced decisions, dinners, and footsteps, it becomes very hard to appreciate the little things sometimes.  I told him that if this was me a year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to just sit there and enjoy my surroundings.  I would have just been thinking about the 101 things I needed to do and 101 things I should have done; I wouldn’t have been appreciating the moment, the present.

As I ate my sandwich I continued to cry because I could taste every bite of my it, I could enjoy the sun peeking through the clouds and warming my cheeks. And all of this was amazingly nice.

It’s such a different feeling and I cry because I appreciate it. I didn’t need my phone to distract me at that moment.  I actually didn’t want my phone at all.  I secretly wished we were back in the early 1900s, in the countryside, with no technology. Just nature.

Read more