who knew stress management could come down to two paths?

Smiling.  That’s how I woke up this morning and that’s how I intend to stay throughout the day.

After my anxiety attack, a very, very wise woman once told me that if I am ever confronted with something that makes me start to get anxious, I can either take one of two paths:  I can either take it easy or don’t care at all.  And while I looked at her like she had three heads at the time, it wasn’t until recently that I started to implement this in my life and, boy oh boy, do I see a change.

For me, it’s all a matter of putting things into perspective (I know it’s easier said than done, but after getting in the habit of trying to do it, you actually start doing it).  Think about it: after coming home from a long day of work, am I going to completely freak out that dinner still has to be made and add stress to what I already encountered throughout the day?  No.  I either take it easy and have dinner done by nine o’clock in the evening or I just don’t care and order out.  Another example: visiting someone that usually says hurtful things and always judges.  Am I going to get into a heated argument with them and let them have control over who I am or what I do?  No.  I either take in their critiques and kindly say a few words about how that makes me feel (take it easy) or just say “oh” and take what they say with a grain of salt and just let it go.  Do a cartwheel when you leave.  Stroll down the street like you’re in a musical.  Whatever!

The point is that life is such a beautiful thing.  Living with anxiety is just code for living with layers of stress.  But what if we can slowly peel off those layers one by one by either taking it easy or just not caring.  If the closet door is left open every day are you going to yell at the other person for not following your preferences?  Or will you kindly mention it and close it yourself? (This, by the way, is an issue at my home, but I just don’t care anymore.  Think of those arguments I just saved!  No stress).

Everyday day is chance to be better than yesterday.  Don’t worry yourself about the ‘what-if’s’ and the ‘but’s’,  just think about the present and how wonderful it is to breath, move, and be active.  If something makes you anxious just stop and put it into perspective.  If you don’t want to take one of those two paths, you’re just going to continue stressing yourself out and driving yourself crazy.  You deserve the best.  Try it.  Choose one of those paths.  Because remember, in the end, you matter.  Your health matters.  Your happiness matters.  Take things easy or just don’t care about them at all.

As for me?  I took it easy making my husband breakfast this morning and am now going to go for a run.


photo 3

I like this free-spirit I am finding.
Who knew stress management could come down to two paths?


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  1. Jessica

    Dear Loren:

    For the first time in many years, I am meeting the real you. No gimmicks no jokes, I am meeting Loren, the woman brave enough to be who she wants to be and isn’t afraid of being herself. As you grow up and live life you learn that there is good and bad. The challenge is to get the good to overcome the bad.. like you said, easier said than done. I am so happy that you found peace in Yoga and are embracing new things. Life is a one of a kind gift and only you can steer your life in which ever direction you choose.

    Panic attacks aren’t the greatest, I agree. Perhaps I am not as brave to admit it, but I had a few of my own. When you set your goals high and forget the notion that you are human, you find yourself freaking out. I found that long walks and music calm me down. I learned a valuable lesson that goals and expectations are great, but achieving them is the true challenge. That is why I still carry around a notebook to write down all my to- do items. As for my personal life, I am trying to steer that boat where I want it to be. I found that in my academic and career life I am where I want to be, but in my personal life I have a lot of fixing to do.

    Hopefully with time I will get where I want to be in my personal life, as they say if you can juggle your personal and career life, you’ve got it made.

    I am truly happy that you have found your chi and I hope with this experience you enjoy everything in life. I know it can be crazy to handle critiques and everyone’s needs, but as I learned its about what makes you happy and what you need. If anything I learned along the way that I do not owe anything to anyone. People can say what they want and try to hurt you, but it takes a strong person to walk away and remind yourself that you are better than what they say and letting it go. As the good saying goes, no company is better than bad company and I still believe that till now. From my experience I found that my true bravery is having the courage to stick up for myself and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

    Again, I am happy that you found a way to organize your life and found a peace of mind in the madness of the world/ life. We always need to learn how to navigate through rough waters, but it always starts with breathing, observing and patience. I’m so happy that your loved ones are so supportive and that they will always catch you when you fall. As long as you love the person you see in the mirror and respect that image, you are untouchable to everyone else. Remember at the end of the day, its all about you and your loved ones; as long as you find your balance and inner happiness all you need to do is end it with a peaceful Namaste.

    Keep up the awesome work, you will go far!

    1. Loren

      Hi Jessica – thank you SO much for those beautiful and inspiring words! You said a lot of great things in here and I encourage readers to read your comment as it rings so very true. You are such a great woman and I know you will accomplish amazing things! You WILL succeed in everything you put your mind to and know that family is always here for you 🙂 Thank you for sharing that you have had some rough experiences along the way and that, from the sound of it, looks like you have an amazing head on your shoulders that has and will continue to carry you through any obstacles. You are a star and we are all so proud of you! xx

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